I feel like nowadays moms feel the need to be labeled and categorized into little groups, at least that what blogs, news articles, and Facebook will tell you. One of my favorite blogs, Fearless Formula Feeder, help start an "I Support You" campaign at the beginning of the month for World Breastfeeding Week. For those of you who don't know, there can be a lot of animosity between breastfeeding and formula feeding, and this campaign showed photos of moms from both sides feeding their babies and declaring that whatever parenting choice you make, they would support you. What I found interesting was how many people also mentioned other parenting choices - since it seems like there is controversy over almost every parenting choice.
It got me thinking...what other labels have I chosen or fallen into as a parent? There are some that we chose on purpose, like cloth diapering (at home only - we're trying to be frugal, but I'm not ready for a full time commitment!), but there are other parenting styles we fell into - like co-sleeping. We don't co-sleep every night, but C is a snuggler and there's something very rewarding for me about holding my baby and watching him fall asleep. That being said at 3am when he's decided to lay horizontal and kick me in the back, I am not such a fan of co-sleeping, and sometimes starts a kicking war with bean (nice to know sibling rivalry starts in the womb?) But will we co-sleep with Bean? I don't know. First of all, I'm worried about C jumping into bed with us and if Bean is in there what would happen. Secondly, co-sleeping with C was organic, we didn't mean to sleep with him, it just sorta happened amongst all the exhaustion late at night. Bean might not need to be snuggled regularly, he's certainly more active in the womb that C was, so maybe he'll want his own space? We'll see. So that's one type of parent I am.
But there are all sorts of other types of decisions you make, that could unknowingly put you in a category. From what type of food to feed your baby to circumcision to car seats to what toys you let them play with. For instance, I didn't want an exersaucer, I didn't see the point, so we got a walker - if you're bored look up what a terrible parent I am for that decision (apparently walkers delay walking, C started walking at 10 months, so I'm glad he was "delayed".)
I wonder if the internet didn't exist would we have as many strong opinions about parenting choices? Or would we just do what seemed right for our child? Would we still label ourselves? Was it easier for past generations, because you just did what your mom, doctor, and close friends told you? Rather than posting a question online and getting "informed" answers from strangers?
I recently started watching the show "Pretty Wicked Moms" on Lifetime, its a terrible bit of reality tv. But from the beginning these ladies are labeled, "Doggy Mom","Alpha Mom", "Queen Bee", etc. And they're all fighting to get their way of mothering recognized as being the best.. When did it become every mother's right to determine how else another mother should parent? I know we all judge, but there's a big difference between thinking "I wouldn't give my toddler soda" and bringing homemade organic snacks to share with everyone to make sure the other kids get something healthy...
So yes, I realize I am judging mothers who judge, but here's the thing, I still support you, even if I think your way of parenting is crazy. I am not perfect, but I am the best mom for C and Bean, and I know you will make the right choice for your kids (and when we don't make the right choice, its a lesson learned, for instance maybe co-sleeping with C is a terrible idea, and when he's 7 and I'm still getting kicked in the back because he refuses to sleep in his own bed, I realize this wasn't best idea (unless he turns out happy, healthy, and well adjusted and sleeps in own bed by then...))
